The World's Laziest Superhero
Our story happens at the Maplewood Spring Talent Show. There was a giant sparkly banner that said ALENT SHOW because the T fell off. That was a sign that everything was about to go completely sideways. This is my comedy partner, Maya, and that's Duchess, a fluffy white cat who is a total diva. Maya and I had the best act planned, where Duchess would jump through a hula hoop wearing a tiny cape. Duchess had agreed. Sort of. She blinked once, which probably means yes in cat.
Right before our act, the tiny cape went missing. Poof! Maya checked the dressing room, and I checked under every single folding chair. All we found was a half-eaten granola bar and one suspicious white cat hair. Duchess was sitting on the stage looking innocent, which is exactly how she looks when she is guilty.
Maya crouched down and used her scariest principal voice. "Duchess. My office. NOW." Duchess just yawned in her face. So I said, no way, we are not losing this show over a cape! We grabbed the sparkly fallen-off T from the banner and wrapped it around Duchess like a superhero cape. She looked fabulous. Then the curtain opened halfway, and it was our turn!
We got on stage. Maya did her principal impression, and the whole gym was howling! Then it was hula hoop time. I held up the hoop and said, "Duchess, your moment!" And she just... sat down. In front of a hundred people. She started washing her face like we were not even there!
Maya panicked and started doing an impression of Duchess washing her face. The crowd thought it was part of the act and went wild! So I went with it and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, the world's laziest superhero!" Plot twist: right then the gym lights flickered and went out. Total darkness. And the only thing anyone could see was Duchess's sparkly T cape, glowing.
Duchess stood up and stretched super dramatically, like a tiny glowing queen. She marched straight through the hula hoop like she meant to do it the whole time! Then she walked off the stage, glowing. All the little kids in the front row stopped screaming and followed her sparkly cape to the exit doors like she was a night light with legs. She literally led the whole gym out in the dark, and she did it slowly, because divas do not rush.
When the lights came back on, the judges gave us the trophy for Best Act. Maya cried a little, which she says she did not, but she did. And guess where we found the missing tiny cape? Under Duchess's fancy water glass, folded up perfectly. She hid it herself so she could wear the sparkly one instead. Diva to the end.